A heavy Wednesday…

So there I was, having just dropped my child off at school and I thought, “Why don’t you go to the supermarket and get stuff for dinner?  And you can pick up ____ and ____…”  (fill in the blanks with stuff I could have gotten another time).  Well, I did it again.  Or should I say I OVER-did it again.  A couple of bags AND an 8-pack of paper towels, oh and my cane.  What am I – a pack mule?  Or just a moron?  Let’s go with moron.

It pains me – literally and figuratively – to understand my limitations.  If you could have seen me about ten years ago – I was working hard as a registered nurse.  I was a published author, (well I can still say that),  I AM a published author.  I assisted on an OB/GYN study and received the honor of having my name on the paper.  I also wrote an article about caring for patients with lupus.

After being diagnosed with lupus, I read everything I could get  my hands on.  I was fighting to win.  It was after my daughter was born that I got the good news of remission. ( She’s my good luck charm for so many reasons).

But when  RSD came into my life, I had no idea what to do.  None of my colleagues had ever heard of it.  I was a bit lost.

RSD has taken SO much from me: a great job, mobility, strength, energy, etc.  But it also forced me to slow down long enough that I could see the beautiful person my daughter is growing into.  I will always be grateful for the time I’ve been able to spend with my family.

But on days like yesterday (the OVER-do of the century, I will say no more) and today, I get very angry.  If I was a normal person, I could just shop and be done with it.   But I’m not, so I drag my cane along and try to shop around it.

And so, I dub today “Heavy Wednesday.”  And I forbid myself to carry another thing, well for today anyway.

Peace and painlessness,

PITB

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