So there I was, having just dropped my child off at school and I thought, “Why don’t you go to the supermarket and get stuff for dinner? And you can pick up ____ and ____…” (fill in the blanks with stuff I could have gotten another time). Well, I did it again. Or should I say I OVER-did it again. A couple of bags AND an 8-pack of paper towels, oh and my cane. What am I – a pack mule? Or just a moron? Let’s go with moron.
It pains me – literally and figuratively – to understand my limitations. If you could have seen me about ten years ago – I was working hard as a registered nurse. I was a published author, (well I can still say that), I AM a published author. I assisted on an OB/GYN study and received the honor of having my name on the paper. I also wrote an article about caring for patients with lupus.
After being diagnosed with lupus, I read everything I could get my hands on. I was fighting to win. It was after my daughter was born that I got the good news of remission. ( She’s my good luck charm for so many reasons).
But when RSD came into my life, I had no idea what to do. None of my colleagues had ever heard of it. I was a bit lost.
RSD has taken SO much from me: a great job, mobility, strength, energy, etc. But it also forced me to slow down long enough that I could see the beautiful person my daughter is growing into. I will always be grateful for the time I’ve been able to spend with my family.
But on days like yesterday (the OVER-do of the century, I will say no more) and today, I get very angry. If I was a normal person, I could just shop and be done with it. But I’m not, so I drag my cane along and try to shop around it.
And so, I dub today “Heavy Wednesday.” And I forbid myself to carry another thing, well for today anyway.
Peace and painlessness,