What a loaded word! So much attached to it. How are you coping with all that’s happening in your life? In the world? How am I coping?

People handle stressors differently. One person’s “no big deal” is another person’s worst case scenario. It’s extremely subjective and personal, a scale from 0-100.

Here we are, existing in a pandemic – the strangest of realities. Some have known people who’ve been sick, who are still sick, and some who’ve perished – all at the hands of Covid 19. It doesn’t get more real than that.

In my family alone, more than half of us were exposed to at least one person with it. Statically speaking, chances are that the majority of people have been at some point. I’m convinced of that. It’s almost unbelievable, a sci-fi movie run amok. Especially in cities where you’re in constantly close quarters with many, many people. It’s inevitable.

So, that being said, how are you coping? Sometimes I wonder if I am, how I’ll look back at this time and my response to it. Some days, I feel like I’m robotically going through the same motions. Other days, I feel extremely human. A floundering human.

Last week was particularly hard. On Friday evening, I misread the family text message announcing a FaceTime call as 6:30, instead of the actual time of 5:30. When I realized my error, I actually felt like I’d taken a punch to the gut. My gal asked if I was okay and I tried to play it off. “I’m fine.” But I wasn’t. I felt genuinely sad about it. It felt like a disproportionate response to the moment, it really was. But that’s where I was that night.

I had major expectations of how I’d manage this time, what I’d do. My productivity would be off the charts! Well, it hasn’t gone exactly as I imagined it would. Big shock, LOL.

I’m sort of numb to that now, though. While we watch and wait for NYC to return to….. I was about to say “normal.” But who knows what “normal” will be? As we wait for a reboot – and I try to keep track of what day it is – I’ve watched important dates tick by. Dates that should have been filled with birthdays and holidays. Dates that should have seen great performances, dancing, acting, and costumes. I am really proud of our work on the school musical. If only we’d been able to run our four shows. I think I was also grieving for that on Friday night. (I think I will be for a long time).

Then, on Sunday, I received a message. In it was a link to a video.: “We’re all in this together,” from “High School Musical.” As I watched, I realized it was OUR cast! Each of the kids, singing and dancing from home. It made me so happy. And sad. And happy again. I cried my way through it and watched it again. It was a beautiful surprise at the exact right time.

Although the song might seem simplistic, it’s simply a great reminder of what we all know: we are in the same boat. We may all be rowing in different directions 🤦🏻‍♀️, but the fact remains that it’s unusual to have such a universal experience at the same time. If only we could all agree and move together. (But that’s waaaay above my pay grade).

So, what to do? I’ve got books to read. Shows to catch up on. Little projects that I can do. But I’m not making another list of “these things are DEFINITELY getting done!” That was a mistake. I’m taking things one day at a time.

As I was drinking my coffee this morning, I was reminded of an amazing t-shirt that I purchased from the website, WILDFANG. I decided to wear it today. (See photo below). I’ve overcome two decades of medical surprises, disappointments, challenges, and successes. And we’ve already been at this pandemic thing for many, many days. I’ll keep moving ahead – even if it means taking two steps forward one day, five steps back the next. I’m not one to stay down for long.

We all need reminders on occasion – ones that speak of our strength, of everything we’ve survived, and everything we’re working on overcoming. I certainly needed that.

This will settle down. Maybe not for a while, but – in the meantime – don’t give up. Give hell. 😉

Wishing you health, safety, and calm. May the coming days be low pain days, we deserve it. ❤️

Peace and painlessness,

Beck ❤️

#thisiswhatsicklookslike #crps #arachnoiditis #rsd #wereallinthistogether #wearewildfang #stayhome #thankyou

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