Pain in the……

If body parts could verbally express their emotions, mine would say it’s kind of fed up. Specifically, my neck. My neck would tell me she’s had enough and just doesn’t want to be supportive anymore.

Yesterday, I told my gal that I feel like my head could just collapse onto my shoulders at any moment. Like an accordion. That’ll be that and I won’t be able to do anything about it. I told her this while I was laying on the floor, using a cervical pillow. (See image below). Needless to say, her expression was a mix of compassion and horror. Ahhh, these honest conversations with mom. 😬

After my doc suggested that I ditch some pillows, I tried. He also suggested that I should try cutting back on my pain meds. That has not happened. Let me back up.

When I went to bed on the night of the call, I did remove two pillows (one regular and one travel neck pillow). It wasn’t the best night. But, thinking that I just needed to get used to it, I continued for a few nights. Then I tried laying with the pillow and a rolled, thin, cotton t-shirt under my neck. I have no idea what the heck my logic was there. “Hey doc, I’m still just I’m using one! Yay Me!” This made everything worse.

After a week of limited to no sleep, I brought the neck pillow back. Then my second regular pillow. It was too hard. Waking up with no feeling in my left arm for 6 hours is waaaay better than constant neck pain.

And it is constant now. It always was, but I could almost ignore it. Now, it burns and nags. Sometimes, it’s bad enough that it scares me.

Looking back at old MRI’s from 2017 and 2019, nothing had changed from one to the next. Discs were bulging. Spinal cord looked okay. So why do another one now? I’m not rushing over there anytime soon. What’s the point?

My husband suggested a different pillow type. I ordered a side-sleeper pillow. It looks like a candy cane. We’ll see if it helps.
The other thing he mentioned, which I hadn’t thought of, was a neck brace. Would it help when the pain is at it’s worst? Looking into it, I decided that it would be worth trying. Stay tuned on that. It should feel FANTASTIC now that the temperature is going up here in NYC. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Sidebar: I’m reeeeally not a summer weather gal. I’m a cool spring or fall gal. Not winter. Definitely NOT summer. The only good thing about these months was school being out and my husband getting a few days off. Otherwise, noooooooo. I’m a summer nerd: I burn easily. It’s too hot. I don’t like the beach, except in the evening. Blah blah blah. 😂

Anyway, painintheBECK is dealing with pain in the neck. I’d be super happy if the discs could un-bulge themselves and life could get back to….. hmmm. Since my body hasn’t had a “normal” state in several decades, I’ll just say get back to pre-discs.

Anyway, that’s where things stand for me. My wish for each of you is that you feel safe, seen, and heard. ❤️

Peace and painlessness,

Beck ❤️


#thisiswhatsicklookslike #rsd #crps #arachnoiditis #mycervicalspineisamess

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