These messed ends……..

I was half asleep, typing a good morning message to our gal in a family group text. Minutes later, she called me and asked if I was okay. Confused, I said, “yes…. Why?” She directed me to the message I’d just sent. I got hysterical laughing when I saw that I’d texted the following message to my family:

Goooooood morning – these messed ends Goood luck. Îs I’m Mo k try N today

I kid you not. The text, along with the accompanying MeMoji makes me laugh. It wasn’t funny to my family though, until they knew I was safe and medically okay. 🤦🏻‍♀️

At least I started it with “good morning” before the wheels came off. Ugh. That just about sums up how my brain is working at the moment – very little sleep and total mental chaos. I have no idea what else I was trying to say beyond good morning. Who the heck knows? But I kind of like the expression “these messed ends.” It makes sense to me, for some wacky reason.

As we prepare to upend our lives from this wonderful place – where we’ve lived for nearly 26 years – I’m made aware of more and more crucial details. There’s so much to do, so many moving parts. It’s honestly like pulling a piece out of a Jenga. (Which, incidentally, is what we call one of our closets. You move one thing and -💥- a whole bunch of other stuff moves with you. (Although, at the moment, that does not happen since I organized it, but for how long? I couldn’t tell you). 🥴

It almost feels like waking up in a different era. Moving in 1997 vs. 2023 seems soooooo different. Having the internet makes everything easier. Plans are in motion. Memories are being relived. It’s bittersweet, for sure. But it’s also exciting. The actual process is overwhelming and exhausting and we haven’t reeeeally even started yet. I have to be mindful of how I feel, making sure I try to avoid anything that can make me flare. If that’s even possible. My doctor wasn’t thrilled about all of this, but what can we do?

Right now, I’m excited and tired and nervous and happy and nostalgic. I’m a ball of emotions. It’s time to move on. Time to start anew.

Here’s to new beginnings! Here’s to facing the stuff that scares us.

Here’s to these messed ends. ☺️

Wishing each of you a safe, happy, peaceful weekend.

Peace and painlessness,

Beck ❤️

#thisiswhatsicklookslike #strokesurvivor #rsd #crps #arachnoiditis #autoimmune #migraine #sacroiliacjoint #facetjoint #backpain #medicalmarijuana #carpaltunnelsyndrome #cubitaltunnelsyndrome #patientadvocacy #painintheBECK #phantosmia #dextroscoliosis #thoracickyphosis #lumbarlordosis #thesemessedends


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s